What is positive parenting? And why is it important? That fact that its message is reaching far and wide, makes it absolute imperative for parents to understand how to improve the quality of parenting. And hence, this blog!
More and more parents have, over the years, begun realising that a change must be made in their child-rearing practices. That no bookish knowledge can ever instil the right parenting skills in them. In the light of it, here’s a lowdown on the good, the bad and the ugly of positive parenting. First and foremost, what we, as parents, must understand is that every child is unique. How they behave, cannot be boxed under the categories of ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’.
Children soak up behavioural patterns like a sponge, and therefore, what we do as individuals is of utmost importance when it comes to parenting. What our children observe is what they end up doing in their day to day lives. Whether you lie to someone, make fun of a friend or use harsh words – your child will inculcate it all.
That being said, there are no rules or formulas, but certain aspects you can use to guide yourself throughout this never-ending journey.
Narrow down the one area you wish to work on the most: One of the key problems most parents face is not knowing where to start. But this is actually quite simple. All you have to think about is that one thing that puts your child at a greater risk. Is your child hurting someone physically or mentally? Do they break things at home due to bad temper? Start here, and start small. Smaller steps create bigger ripples.
Pinpoint what you wish to change: If your child has a bad mouth and tends to use a lot of swear words, try and understand the root of the problem, and give them an alternative. For example, you could tell your child that the next time they get angry and wish to curse, they need to go inside their room for a few minutes till they feel better. Reprimanding them for the same will only worsen the situation. Whereas, your job is to smoothen the road for them.
Give them the reason to change: Telling your child to change something about themselves without explaining will only leave him/her confused. Even if they do alter something for your sake, the results will most likely be short-lived. If you wish for your child to change something for good, then always give them the reason in a nice, logical way. Shouting and yelling won’t work here.
Chalk out goals for you and your kid: Working together as a team always gets better results. Parenting is never one-sided; it is about you and your child. Tell your child that you hate punishing them for something as trivial, and that you wish to come up with a way where you both can be happy. This will make your child look at things in a more practical way, and kids love to be problem-solvers. With this adult-like approach, you fix the problem, while putting them in charge.
Encourage their special talents & skills: Your child’s hard-earned 50% is as good as a hard-earned 100%. With the amount of competition in our society, putting additional pressure on kids only makes them crumble. Whether it’s painting, dancing, cooking or fixing gadgets – your kid has a special talent, and it is your job to encourage that.
In a nutshell, positive parenting only requires a change in mindset. As a parent, you must be committed to approaching your kids with affection, empathy and patience.